The real advantages of alternative power

I keep reading about all this green energy, emergency back up, off grid (see giggle-weeds living) stuff.
Phooey.

I keep thinking somebody will post about the true (real world) advantages of alternative energy involvement.
You bunch of lazy lounge lizards obviously will not do it so I will.

Here it is in no particular order.
1. You get to employ folks in the internet alt energy business. How? Easy.
You start with 6 Harbor Freight 15W panels and a WalMart Marine Deep Cycle battery to power a little radio.
In 6 months you have 40 kabillion watts of Kyocera panels and 14 Morningstar MPPT Controllers going into 8000 amps of Trojan batteries. You still just power the same lil radio. But you know you could power Sacramento...and that makes you feel good.
2. You get to help folks on the internet. Yes you are an expert now as you have not burnt your house down from your solar projects. So that makes you an expert. Give yourself some kind of royal sounding user name. ExpertdeSolar or SolarGod or something. You get to PM jokes back and forth with other folks who have yet to burn their house down and it is good and grand.
3. You have boxes and boxes of solar stuff. Leftover 15 amp controllers, fuses, etc. This collection comes from the smaller projects that did not satisfy your insatiable appetite to light up Sacramento. You give stuff away to "newbies" for their solar projects and this makes you feel good about your new found solar expert status in the hood.
4. You put up a wind generator. It doesn't turn except in hurricanes. Birds appreciate the thing though. You made enough electricity to light up a p*ss ants flashlight last year. It is good. Maybe you can join a wind gen forum and expert all day and night about your wind gen.
5. Family comes to visit and suddenly you need to clean your panels until they are gone. You appreciate alternative energy even more now.
6. Alt Eng Ugh Oh's and the internet.
"I know I wired that relay right. "
"Whats that smell?"
Do not post about the relay backwards wiring on the internet. It will affect your expert status. If somebody else post about wiring something backwards tell them they are ignorant and should search the forum for your previous post of wisdom.
This is called deflecting the ignorance.
Or Teflon Ignoramus Redirection for you MSEE's out there.
It is a alternative energy user's advantage over those poor souls sucking on city power. They cannot redirect like us alt energy folks can.
7. You have learned to read and speak Chinese.
8. You can butcher Ohms law with the best of them.
9. You have created poems and songs to help you.
Black off firsty I sure am thirsty.
Black on last. I wish Romo could pass.
10. You sold your left over cables for copper scrap and bought a 2012 Dodge Ram truck with the proceeds. Fully loaded . It gets 10 MPG. You carbon footprint is offset by the massive power you make to power your lil bitty radio in the garage. You can utilize solar arithmetic to prove it. Non-Solar people cannot comprehend Solar Arithmetic. Watts / Amps* Volts to the ohms squared=my carbon footprint is smaller than yours.
11. You make a youtube video screaming like a 12 year old girl at a Hannah Montana concert because your wind turbine just moved. You think it did anyway. Doesnt matter. Post up a 55 minute youtube video of your wind turbine just sitting there doing nothing. Now you are an internet sensation. Let's see city power sucking folks do that. They do not get the opportunity to post youtube videos of their stuff doing nothing, making complete fools of themselves in the process. Only us alt eng folks can do that.
12. You use the ~ now and never knew it even existed before alt eng came to be.
13. Arizona Wind and Sun sends you the finest wines and cheeses along with first class tickets to a Caribbean resort. Small token of appreciation for your continued business.


Did I leave anything out?